the story behind nasrina’s oasis

Some of the following are excerpts from my detailed essay, “The Impact Mindfulness and Self-Care Has On Health”

Disclaimer: (Once again I am TERRIBLY SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!! SCHOOL WAS KICKING ME IN THE A**! But, I am glad to be back now! I hope you enjoy my story <3)

Hello there friends and all!

My name is Nasrin Ali. I am 18 years old, and I am currently a senior in high school (finally graduating, class of 2024 yassss).

(also nasrina is my nickname, so either or is fine lol)

I made this blog in one of the most darkest times of my life. But, before I tell the story of how this blog came to be, let me give you a background of who I was.

I have always been someone who has had high expectations of myself. I always strive to be the best person I can be; whether it is being more emotionally intelligent, or by increasing my abilities in things, or from having my strong adrenaline for ambition, I always need to be the best Nasrin I can be. This, without question, is not only from my desire to be ambitious, but it also comes from my inner child’s low self-esteem. I have always felt like I was never good enough, whether it be through my mistakes or my general appearance. However, from setting these high expectations and goals for myself, I have garnered good grades for most of my childhood, sometimes all straight A’s. I won accolades and awards and received numerous opportunities.

This is all due to myself pushing myself to strive for success, even if I had to be self-critical.

Was it right?

No.

But did I feel like that worked for me?

At least back then, yes.

However, that all changed when I was a freshman in high school. I had a horrible year. COVID killed my first high school experience. I was in classes I hated, and my grades showed for it. This was unheard of for me. I was always known to be one of the smart ones. Yet I received Ds in my toughest subjects, which was Geometry and Science, and I didn’t see as many A’s as I am used to.

This killed me, and I just kind of gave up. I had to do summer school for failing a trimester of Geometry, and everyone was shocked to see me there.

“Nasrin what happened? You’re so smart you shouldn’t be here!”

However, there was this sweet old lady who was in the cafeteria who was always so kind to me. She would always give me good advice whenever I saw her. I didn’t know why she was so interested in me. She was a substitute teacher at the school. She would ask me questions about my life and my background out of genuine curiosity.

Regardless, I never felt any adult have such a strong interest in me before in a long time.

One day in summer school, I went through it. I was depressed, sad, and just felt so dejected. I was scared and embarrased for failing one of my quizzes, and I felt so alone and behind.

The woman asked how my day was, and I told the kind woman that I had a really, REALLY, bad day.

Then she gave me advice that would change my perception of life forever.

“Do you see this water bottle?”, she holds up her clear blue water bottle.

(this isn’t actually the exact one she used, but you get the picture)

“Yes.”

“Do you see how the sun reflects through it, or through the window?”

“Yes.”

“Although it may seem like an ordinary water bottle, once you see the details, doesn’t it look more beautiful?”

She said, “If we often pay attention to only the sad things in our lives, we fail to appreciate the little things that make life so beautiful.”

“I want you to try this. Go out and try to pay attention to the little things, soon your mood may change.”

Although I could see where she was coming from, and understood surface level where her words were wise, I thought what she was saying was a load of baloney.

How can a water bottle be pretty?

Why does she keep talking about the sun?

Is she a hippie?

But as I was walking home on that bright summer afternoon, I began to appreciate the things around me. The birds were singing, the sidewalk was sparkling, the day was bright, the leaves were gleaming, the trees looked beautiful, and the buildings by my friends’ house were gorgeous and colorful, and I felt happy.

When I came home, I had more of a clear mind. A clear concious. A self-affirming belief saying, “Yes, I can do this!” and, “I will get through this, this won’t be permanent.”

To that lady I may never see again, I want to say thank you.

Your words have truly changed me for the better.

Now, I try to carry this mentality every day, that by noticing the small things that make your surroundings and who you are so special, not only will you feel better when you are in a bad mood, but you will also feel a sense of happiness and gratitude.

Little did I know that by looking at life through those lenses, and appreciating the little things, I was experiencing and exposing myself to the ideals of mindfulness and self-love and appreciation.

Many of us often do not understand the impact that our words may have amongst one another. We may something to someone, and forget about it in like an hour. But for some, your words may hang on their head either in a good way, or in a sad way.

What she said to me may have not seemed to matter at the moment, but once I thought about it, I really looked at life a lot differently.

But what does this have to do with my blog?

I began to be intrigued by the concept of wellness when I was sixteen. I was just coming from a friendship with a painful end. At the time, this former friend of mine and I had been good friends since childhood, and I always felt like I was doing everything wrong. She would tell me how she feels I’m not supportive of her and her decisions, or how she constantly wanted to take repetitive breaks from our friendship. I was trying the best I could to be a good friend.

As a natural people pleaser, I wanted to please this person and be the best friend I could be.

I wanted this person to be in my life for a long time.

Then one day, she starts telling me how I’m not a good friend, how she’s always there for me and I’m not there for her. She then told me that the only reason why she wanted to be friends with me was because she felt sorry that I moved to a new school.

That cut deep. That hurt a lot.

So, I painfully cut her off, and I began reassessing myself.

I was really hurt by these allegations towards me, and I was constantly feeling bad for myself and going to others for reassurance, because I wanted someone to tell me I was a good person.

I saw that for me to grow and be happy with who I am, I needed to learn how to grow to love and care for myself, instead of constantly worrying about others’ opinion of me.

One day, I just happened to run into Squarespace (a website building platform) and I was trying to figure out how to make a blog to brush up my skills of freelance writing. I didn’t know what niche to do. Then, it hit me. “I should make a blog about self-love and self-care, so I can learn about this and help others with it too!”

So on November 9th, 2022, “nasrinasoasis.com” was born.

My goal is to write about tips and advice that I’ve learned and researched which reiterated that self love is a continual growth, and that it's okay to have some days where you may struggle with loving and embracing who you are.

I hope you enjoyed this story, and I hope that if anything, you can leave with a remembrance of that woman’s words.

The end!