The Struggles of a People Pleaser
Hello friends, today I want to discuss something that many of us struggle with on a day to day basis.
Do you ever beat yourself up when you mess up, or when you fail, especially after working so hard?
Does it leave you in a wallowing state of sadness or numbness?
We often tend to beat ourselves up when we are unable to do something “right”. We, or someone we know, tend to compare ourselves to our peers, our relatives, our friends, or someone on social media.
I struggle with this too.
You see, the reason why I haven’t been able to write anything on my blog lately is because of such similar doubt.
Doubting myself… is a common personal issue I tend to have.
“This isn’t good enough,” “ I need to rewrite this again.”
You see, I’m a people pleaser. I like to make people happy.
When I don’t, I tend to beat myself up for the entire day. I tend to focus on my personal mistakes, past issues that I could’ve handled better, and I feel an embarrassing, overwhelming sense of guilt.
I know a lot of people who feel that way as well, and maybe you’re one them. Or maybe you’re not.
I have friends who are total opposite of that lol. They’re not afraid of confronting people when they do wrong to them, and they tend to keep focus on what makes themselves happy.
I find that trait quite admirable. As a people pleaser, there are times where I wish I could easily tell people off without feeling worried or guilty about it.
I told a few of them about my people pleasing problem and what I should do if someone is mad or annoyed with me. A lot of them gave me similar responses.
“Just don’t care.” “Just do what makes you happy."
I learned from them that it is best to keep my focus on what makes me feel happy. To all my fellow people pleasers, you only live one life. You cannot spend the rest of your life looking for other people’s validation. Everyone in this world is not going to be 100% happy with you. There’s billions of people out there, aka a billion of annoying, rude, disgusting people. It’s impossible to make those types of people always happy with you. And that’s okay. <3
People pleasing in a person can stem from various sources such as low self esteem, trauma, bullying, FOMO, thinking about how others would think about you.
Don’t worry about what people think! All you should focus on is if you’re happy or not with what you are doing.
You have to be happy with yourself, have some pride in who you are. Don’t bend down to anyone, don't let anyone devalue you, because no one can devalue you except yourself.
Of course, saying all of this is a lot easier than it sounds. Especially for me. But in my next blog post, I will try to dive into how you and me can help mend this trait within ourselves.
I hope you enjoyed this article and feel free to comment for me!
I’m really sorry for not writing anything much since my last entry, I’ve been sick, and trying to set up the website and memberships, and figuring out my instagram (which you’ll see on my homepage).
I’m trying a set schedule on blog posts, so I promise to not make you guys wait this long for an entry again!
You’ll see an announcement from me soon about dates so don’t worry!
I think some of you have seen the official launch date for the website on July 1st.
I’m going to change that mainly because that is quite a long time lol. I decided to not really have an official launch. I want to build as I go, so I can make greater and greater things for you all. Some things are still not possible for me, such as establishing a form of payment due to me being a minor. But that’s okay! I enjoy writing and making these pieces for you guys!
Have a great and wonderful day/night and I hope you enjoyed my post! <3
